President Hospitalized for Hair Dye Irritation


President No Moo-Hyun was hospitalized early this morning as a result of excessive use of hair dye, according to anonymous sources. An unnamed cleaning lady, "Mrs. Kim", reportedly had been complaining to her neighbors about the incessant need to bleach the President's pillow cases. One neighbor of "Mrs. Kim" said, "alomost every day, she would kvetch about the black stains on sheets and pillow cases. I guess it's understanable if you are the President to look good, but why can't he do it properly. I dye my perma every week. My pillowcases are as white as snow. Sheesh"

Doctors at Yonsei Hospital refused to comment about the President's condition. Supporters of the president vehemently denied that he had ever dyed his hair. "It is a slanderous lie of those opponents of the Uri-Dang trying to derail the successes of our beloved brunette."